A Lifetime With My Love ~ CVH Fiction 19 November, 2022 Pic: ToNic-Pics I always thought he was trying to get noticed. Every time something major happened, there he was – trying to save the day. Knowing he was a businessman, I thought all he did was merely to bring attention to himself. ‘What an attention-seeker,’ I would think. ‘What a waste of money spent on nothing but aesthetics.’ Then, on visiting a new land where blue was everywhere, I would see him every now and again. I never followed him, because I thought he was a twit – and not in a good sense at the time. But, over more time, which really never ends, there would be funny things he’d say, which actually physically made my upper lip lift and my bottom one extend from side to side. He made me smile. ‘Okay,’ I thought, ‘let’s see where this is all going.’ Until one day he acted like a childish brat and it was despicable what he said to an adult. But strangely, after an apology, I realized we all make mistakes and I’ve said similar things to an adult, and so it was fair in a sense. I always felt that typing on a keyboard makes me look smart, even though I failed typing in school, and almost English as well. So, to have the job I do means I like looking smart. I wrote a couple of books, and it turned-out that some of the things I wrote were actually exactly that way, but no one had ever put it as simplistically as I had, so that it would make sense to even a little child – who can read. How happy I was to see him happy with someone, too, and such a magical child person she was; a young woman learning the ways of the old, a little like me, but not agreeing entirely to all the rules, which I must agree cannot be learned, only inherited. And out of the blue my life begins to be a story I wrote. I mean, out of the blue, because the new and extremely exciting chapter began with gold planes on a blue sky with pink clouds. One morning I walked right into the most fantastical adventure I would ever embark upon, unless of course I ever get to travel the world in an RV, and then also go to Space – if I’m even still alive when all that happens - hah! Although I would not go, unless – actually being the first to go to outer-space might be not such a good idea – so maybe… who knows, but I would like to do a slingshot around the moon to start - first. So, this adventure began when I woke-up one morning, and it doesn’t seem to have stopped. The plot has only thickened immensely, as key characters take the stage. But still, if I were travelling in an RV I would not be thinking about this chapter anymore, because it would be the start of the second book in the series. Talk about scary cliff-hangers! But even though he followed me he would always say, “No, that’s not good enough,” despite the love we made before then being indescribable. I thanked him for every gift, too, although he was so happy I was only using about 2% of his budget! You know – What really gets my goat is when someone tells me how my story must go. Don’t do that. Just. Don’t. Do. That. I have always survived on my story, and while I sincerely appreciate the start of the romantic chapter, which I will discuss next, I cannot be one-dimensional. It is not possible for me to be romantic around a nine-week-old baby because she is just too much. It is not possible to hear Birdy around other human beings and not begin to shake in sadness. So, when you tell me to do this and that, I will tell you that being able to ‘feel’ to such great depths is both a blessing and a curse. But still, when you go deeper into each you gain more knowledge, and you do actually become more clever, in how you present yourself, because if you present yourself as something that is unwanted I can promise you no one will want you. Agreed? So, pull yourself together, stick-out that chest and pull in your bum – please, I do love sparrows, but if I were a bird do you really, really, really think I would come back to this planet as a sparrow? This is me we’re talking about. A sparrow? Seriously? Do not call something that is beautiful cute. A new-born baby is not cute, even though you just want to eat it – it is beautiful, to be observed and respected, and loved and appreciated; greeted, welcomed, protected, cared for – and we pray this for them. So, when you have a really nice adventure with somebody and it seemingly feels like it is coming to an end, I would advise from the bottom of my heart that you do not finish that chapter just yet. It still needs a cliff-hanger, doesn’t it? Or is everything that is happening now ‘the Cliff-hanger’; the doubt in me, the ‘not good enough,’ the ‘I’ll cut you off,’ the ‘you’ve made no progress,’ the ‘you failed miserably,’ the ‘you’re fired – just like your Pizza!’ Well, let me tell you something - if you are reading this now, I have made more progress than anyone in this entire frickin’ world. I caught your attention – all – by – myself. Please show me some respect if you expect it to be returned. Better still, please make a joke or say something nice about the weather. But do not judge me. Ever. Again. It is not your right. Of course you must put your career first. And if you do not live with someone who feels the same, why are you even in the same house? And 'housewife' is also a job with two kids or more. There is so much happening in the world. The Unity is unmatched – it is a new level; amazing! And the feeling of anticipation for a world finally at peace is on everyone’s chests, as they continue to breathe shallowly then deeply, in hope that they can keep doing this until the entire human race exhales together. #UnitedEarth #confidence #self #heal #strength #mentalhealth #UnitedEarth #peace #space
0 Comments
This was the most scary day and also one of the happiest. At its worst moments, I felt the crappiest. Pic: Wikipedia - Karoo prinia Not enough sleep and work to do, I did my best to say it true. The intimidation was not necessary. You are in a land considered free. But I know what you want - feel free to lure. However, I would only reach the obscure. He is sick of me and my dirty thoughts. Sorry, never before seen how an old man courts. Nevermind, go back to business. Don't bite my ankles again. And then she arrived with no innards inside, and I'm pretty sure a complicated name. One layer she is and nothing more. Pure and kind right to the core. Nothing but light in a feathery sense, pure energy just packed together dense. I got home to cry at what I had seen. The young boy perhaps was looking for his queen. A walk immediately - not a minute to waste. To the North with focused haste. The planes will circle two. With bright shining light, it seems to me that she has come to you. A gentle walk home between good and bad, to return to sounds of screaming and sad. The Devil across the way must fall. He has deceived each one and all, driving the builder and owner away. With poison he pays his way. It shall be done, peace for this family. All violent beings should be considered madly. You are magnificent. I hope you will meet her. But, be careful, confusion at heart she does stir. But only because you won't understand it, when you realize she is it. Do not be afraid, she means no harm. But it won't work against her, your preprogramed charm. The obvious one is visitor only, best friend to a widow rather lonely. Not to be confused with what's down below, layers on layers of green marshmallow. How great. How huge. How Divine. It is clear that now is the time. Blessed beings be thankful now, and begin to show the others how to be kind and funny, witty or gay, so that you may live another day. With such things proven I now understand the value of this majestic land. #Tuesday #stories #light #welcome #UnitedEarth #space When somebody becomes your everything, it is hard to not treat humanity with love. Pic: PICNIC-Foto When you are ill, they will be there to see the severity of their love or neglect, and then they will use your name in vain to get the pity of your loss, and the benefits of some time to not have to fight. Because, in truth, if they really loved you all through your life, they would know that illness is not something everyone can handle. They don’t want to ask you for help – they were ignored before, told ‘it will be alright, now go to bed’. Love is something different, and the deepest expression of love is to be someone’s reason for living. Are you someone’s reason for living? Because, if you are, they are the ones keeping you alive. When you find someone who is your reason for living, you don’t let them go. You explain what you feel all the time, so they will know and help you. This way you will be served what true love is all about. They will not ignore your moans and groans. They will keep you alive. It can be family or someone you have never seen and been able to identify. If you are not struggling in one area of life, you may struggle in another. The one who sees you as their reason for living will make sure you survive, without the illness. This is love. It really is. #love #care #UnitedEarth #reasontolive #alive #blessings You could only lose me to my purpose, and without it I would feel quite worthless. Pic: blickpixel You cannot stop me from Destiny, I’ll have to go where it wants me to be. I’m willing and able, but won’t risk no food on the table, to see the unfolding of this fable. You know where my heart lies. When you think of me, please look to the skies. I’m stuck between two dimensions, I will adhere to Universal intentions. The path would need to be made, though, you see - there’s little one can do without ecstasy. The drive and motivation is strong. Nothing in my being tells me it’s wrong – at the time. But I do not want to hurt another. I would not want to destroy a lover – so will remain in mime. And so if the way to the future is pure, they will find a way the path to endure, and make sure that all with them are secure. If the steps lead to new life, they would have to leave behind no strife. And because Destiny is merely a notion I will cause no physical commotion. I will not manipulate the life of that fable - of many it is merely one. But, again, I’m willing and able to care for the rain and the sun, to nurture and guide, to reveal what it hides to itself only - however lonely. Do I know this person, you ask? Ask them yourself and you’ll see. Although it’s hard to know what to say, as the fable would need to match reality. I’ll believe in you. Feel free to believe in me, too. #thoughtful #love #friendship #UnitedEarth #keepitreal The Hidden War ~ Chapter Eighty. Let Me Go. CVH, fiction. Pic: prettysleepy1 I don’t know where to begin today. I’ve worked myself to a point of dismay. Three times now, I have chosen rage instead of the sweet-smelling sage. It needs to stop being an option. I blow everything out of proportion. I feel trapped, like I can’t get away, wanting someone to save me every day. And there lies my problem. God sent his hand twice. But I did not take his advice. You came all this way to find me here, thinking I was an almighty seer. I’m not, this you know. I’m just a woman with nowhere else to go. I’m trying to be strong and kind but turn to violence, when they attack my mind. Without my program I will fall. I’ll meet others like a brick wall. I saw you today in my time of despair. I know you sent him because you care. Why did you trick me, make me feel this way? You send in your minions, but my name I’ll never hear you say. I love love - love making it, too - thinking of places and thinking of you. I know I am wrong, I want to stop. I don’t want my life to be a flop. I made my promise, and that’s my weakness. You’re in my mind and I can’t tweak this. I feel that if I let you go, I’ll have broken the promise you came to know. Why is it so complicated? Why is love so fiercely debated. I’ll throw my toys and rock the boat. If I miss the bridge I’ll jump the moat. Please don’t appear to me anymore, unless it’s through an open door. It’s my fault not yours. This I know well. But I hope I was able to keep you from hell. Perhaps if you questioned me you would then soon see I speak for myself. I have no wealth. It’s all a fantasy for me. I don’t know the difference most times, you see. It fills my heart and makes me feel good, but your recent message I’ve understood. I would not be welcome because of my outburst. Well, at least you’ve seen me at my worst. I need a friend more than anything, not the kind who wears my ring, but one I can turn to when there’s no one else; one who will stop to check my pulse. I sit here in tears - can’t change who I am; this horrible, bitchy and Naze Madam. It’s not really me, but it’s who I choose to be to save me from drowning in misery. I change my mask like I change my feelings. I’m falling on floors and crawling on ceilings. No one I know will let me fly. Most only want a piece of my pie. I am vain and selfish, too. I have no choice if I’m to make it through. My way or the highway – yes, that’s right. I cannot change course to win your fight. I don’t want to lose you, but I cannot have you. We’ve been together two nights, although you don’t know what I do. I am not wretched. I am no wench. I need a river with wooden bench. A river, a river a river I need. Please, God, bring it to me at much great speed. Adventure, adventure, please don’t die in me. I’m sorry for those whom I’ve hurt terribly. I feel safe alone. The path I was shown. But no one wants me to walk it, so here I just work and sit. If I go now I won’t return. All I’d feel is the rope’s burn. Does it matter to me? No, not at all. But I don’t want to cause others to fall. How will I know what you really think? It’s driving me mad, so I’ll have a drink. It makes no difference. In bed I’m alone with no one to hold or hear me moan. There is one but he doesn’t understand. I seek a life of adventure quite grand. I’ve worked so hard to show my name. Yet all you offer is joke and game. The worst part is that I know my own ego. Of wonderful things she will not let go. Must I discipline her and punish myself? I don’t want your metallic wealth. Please, like-mind, do find me now. To be without you I don’t know how. Let’s go to the moon or even the park – anywhere we are there’d be a spark. On the radio I hear the voice so dear – do you think of me, too? I appreciate that, thank you. You start my day with pep and smile, as I listen for a while. Can I please run as far as I can and never again have to see this plan that aims to destroy me at the core, by calling me a bore or a whore? Find other feelings to think about. Sure, I’ll click my fingers; ‘hay presto’ I’ll shout. It’s not that easy, I’ve invested too much in thinking of you, in thinking of us. And now I must stop because it is not true. All I am doing is hurting you, too. I am a vampire draining your power. I think of you just about every hour. I can’t stop. You make me real happy. But I make you irate and you start to feel crappy. My sewers below where every man does go. Want to take me like a soil-churning hoe? By all means, please do. But it won’t be so fun for you. You see, I love so deeply it seems; the monster’s eye, I see how it gleams. Take me away to the mountains again. There’s nothing left for me here. I miss them so much, my family I mean. I miss the gentle, wise deer. I fought for you and you fought for me, too. Let’s say ‘salute’ and do what we do. Forgive me for all my slimy advances. Forgive me for taking such bias chances. I need a reason to live, you see. But I don’t know how to live for thee. It was fun at the start; you always listened to my heart. Now it is broken, it’s all become scrambled. My story is lost among the wicked and shambled. I will be fine tomorrow, of course. I’ll try not to think of you. I’m hurting so many people now. But stopping is something I can’t do. My heart is empty. I almost killed him. No, I do not consider it a sin. Please being peace, if you can. Please let me keep my master plan. Please bring me a friend with whom I can talk, and dance and play and happily talk. I don’t care who it is, as long as they’re kind. But do not dare to send someone blind. My scars, my victimhood; I’ll keep them for good. I will never love you like a woman should. I’ll find new fancy in brains and brawn, even though to you my life I’ve sworn. I will not close myself to pleasure. I will not wait ‘til you finish your leisure. Dammit, I’m sad. Dammit, I’m mad. And only you know how to make me glad. I’ll put that rope around the bar. It won’t leave a nasty scar. This disorder I have, what does it mean? Why am I such a bad human-being? God, if you could please take me back to the wonderful me that I love, I’d know I’m watched from above. Cast me out to be alone. I warned you when the crow had flown. I’ll hurt you and hate you and make you feel bad. Please leave me alone to get over this sad. I can’t let go, I don’t want to either. I know I am wrong, please be the decider. I am pathetic and have no meaning. I’m still from my past slowly weaning. Please make it stop; the game and the tease. I can’t live at this pace and not feel like a sleaze. Mary Magdalene, she got it right. But I won’t find Jesus in the dead of the night. Darkness of forest, please pull me back in, so I no longer need to live life of sin. Hold me, care for me - don’t let me go, even if in mirror there’s no face to show. I’m lost and without. I want to shout. But I don’t even know what about. Let me replace my thoughts of you with some work to do. That helps not either, because when I’m alone pictures of you are all I’m shown. I’ll have to learn to not take it to heart. I’ll have to stop before I start. I did that once before already. Somehow you snuck back in. Please find another before you I smother. I am loyal but not just to one. I am loyal to all who embody the sun. Will I be forgiven? Perhaps not by you. But certainly by those who know my heart is true. #women #love #sad #lettinggo #life #live #UnitedEarth Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and I want to talk about the Humanity I love. Pic: alanajordan I am unable, for some reason, to make close connections with others. While I have been criticized for this, I can assure you it is not my fault. I would love very much to show love through tears at every opportunity, but that would dry-up my storage of endorphins, and then when I feel physical pain I would not be able to heal it with tears because I would have none left. Of course this is distressing for me. Often I’m pushed to the end degree, as they try to get a feeling from me, because they don’t like the one they have from me. Humanity did not begin as Predator. You can do this research yourself if you don’t believe me. It’s quite interesting, actually. The first ‘tools’ found were for harvesting plants, often quite thin and light. It was only much later they began making heavier tools (forgive me for thinking about tanks today; response to environment), and these were for softening flesh (or breaking down caves). Then sharper tools, more lethal, were found. But the point of the story is that humans were in no way born Predators. The Predators we had to face were probably not too many, because we chose to live in small caves where they could not reach us. We were peaceful, but knew we needed more of ‘us’ so that we could defend our caves. So we made families. Fast forward a little; there were now many humans and some thought they could, adlib, take from someone else - without giving anything back, or even asking. Even if asked, “Could you please just go find something else to do than sit there, that’s all I ask -” I mean, they could not even do that, let alone help harvest and clean and make fences. Anyway. With this in mind, we see that the idea that one is allowed to take from another without giving anything in return, is the root cause of Humanity’s problems. Asking for something is still an option, of course. Some were happy to take credit while others were happy to take orders. Said no one from those times, ever. It was very unfair. But they made bigger tools and realized it was far easier to knock someone out than hear them telling them they can’t take their stuff. Because they can, and they did, and that’s that. But, very few alive today can remember the first person to steal; because it is stealing if you take it without permission. And all of us alive today have been raised to always beware of the Thief; whatever it's trying to steal. Always. It is so deeply ingrained to beware of the Thief, especially when you don’t have much. It’s what we dread; having that 'little we have' taken from us. But people who have everything don’t know that feeling, unless emotions are now a commodity? However, now that we know all of this, why are we not able to reach the conclusion that unless everyone forgives in Unison this will never work? The future generations are at stake – not from climate-change which happens just to be someone’s idea about why the world changes due to solar maximum every eleven years (although we had a really nice sky during lockdown, but everyone forgot that – had to ‘get back to work’), along with its natural cycle. But they are at stake from ‘atmospheric pressure’ due to the frequencies of Humanity, as a resounding singular organism, on this planet. They resonate at such great heights from fear and anxiety, calm seems difficult – but not entirely unachievable. Fortunately. We can only ask, with our deepest good intention, that World Leaders refrain from 'any and all' action that would lead to either a World War or a Nuclear War. This applies to both sides. We do not believe in a world where war is all there is. Technology was our demise, in the sense that we learned to use our heavy, sharp, and even thin weapons to hurt each other, when in fact we created them for harvesting grains and clearing lands for housing. We can harvest stars now (not literally, but we can go there), by turning all leftover nuclear weapons and associated paraphernalia into thrusters or boosters for ships to the Moon and Mars. I just think that if the richest man in the world can do it, let him. But it needs to happen soon, and there’s so much of it around. To those who can hear me I say, if you know we can do this then we probably should. If we can bring calm to ourselves despite our trespassers, we will have helped to pave the way for future generations who simply will not know or need any elements associated with Predation. That small ‘Light of Consciousness’ is the memory of a time before tools and tech; a time that is still embedded in your very own atomic structuring. Fact. “Mind over matter,” said the Hatter. I miss you, my friends. Happy Valentine’s Day for tomorrow. #friendship #peace #behaviorism #climatechange #president #war #tech #stocks #future The Hidden War ~ Chapter Forty-One. Yugadug. CVH, fiction. Pic: langll Who are you, Yugadug? And why does my name have an ‘e’? All my life this was hidden from me. But really, it’s fine because I’ve learnt quite fast, not to misunderstand my stranger past. This is amazing! I love it so much. But I’m too afraid to accept the crutch. It would be unspeakable, I’m not worth all that. The boy from the sand wears an English hat. Culture can be mutual if it is understood, that talk of war and ugly things will never lead to good. At least you now see - for yourself - why I don’t rely on external wealth. I don’t have to - but do. To the persons I say, “Thank you.” Tomorrow will be great, because it’s meant to be! Although, how all that actually happens, I have yet to see. Dance and love - singing to the above. Glide, don’t hide. Be happy - it’s safe. Beautiful Beyond Belief. #love #peace #Humanity #three #UnitedEarth The Hidden War ~ Our Future Has A Twist. Chapter Twenty-Four. CVH, fiction. Pic: Prettysleepy Hallo, my Love. I am missing you much. I've had lots to do, like earning an income and such. My Love, today I realized why it is we are so despised. They do not want our truth to be heard. They are selfish and the truth they've obscured. My Love, you are my hero – not just mine but theirs, too. You risked your life and your heart, just to see Love through. You made choices that were misunderstood, and all of them have done us good. They use the threat of violence serving, to all, their pretence. We’ve watched all of history unfold in a year. You, my Love, we hear loud and clear. The instability we all face now is something we will endure. For this heart-ache I feel, being far from you, I'm still to find a cure. Through bringing threat to your own existence, you have made safe ours. These uphill battles we find ourselves in will diminish from months to hours. Rightly I should be working now but my mind is set on you. I know I'm not the only one to say, "We are grateful for what you do." Beyond that, my Love, my personal affections veer me away from worldly rejections. They stand before me with muscle and might, but with their bodies gone there'll be no more fright. You're miles from me but I have support. Here, your name is what we've sought. I hated you for a short while, my Love, because I could only hear them. They made you sound like a picture I made, but I'll not listen to them again. At first I loved the way you danced. You are good with animals, too. I'd forgotten about ‘this man’ I had seen – I’d forgotten the ‘you’ that is true. I had been away from fights and such - had forgotten about your good deeds. Instead I seemed to cultivate their thorny and foul-smelling seeds. Whether or not you'll forgive me for this, I will never know. But what I see now is the path you are paving, showing us which way to go. My Love, I dance with you each day. My Love, in my head I see you play. You're funny and gentle and kind at heart. It was not your intention to this awful fight start. You spoke one-thousand times, my Love, but they did not choose to listen. Now they point their hate at you, when blood from their weapons does glisten. They do not see how brave you are, nor do they see your devotion. Instead they spread lies which, to be quite honest, in our hearts causes no commotion. We are used to their tricks of intimidation, provocation, and their method of elimination. Those who claim to be 'the best' have learned their methods from the West. It was once said that the meek will inherit this Earth, but they will be given no merit. But this does not matter to you or me. God sees everything they do not see. They blocked you out in the hearts of the masses, then complain about the price of gases. And so it should be that they face ‘the people’, for replacing Love with a manmade steeple. We are not here for power nor money. We're here for flowers and friendships and honey. They do not see the progress you've made. To them you were a measly slave. But what you have taught me I will not forget. The hate they send me I do not regret. They support your oppressor thinking they’re winning, but all they offer is sacrilege and sinning. My Love, what we share is not sin at all. We’ll dance, all of us, like Cherubs at a Ball. They do not want the truth to be known. But we'll be sure that the people are shown all you have done in the name of Love. I believe you're an Angel sent from above. It's hard to accept the route that was chosen, but without it the land would have been frozen. My Love, I can't wait to find you again - in the mountains where we will fear no shame. I know I am just one of many who aims to present some truth. It's true, I would do it all over again, but would be with you from our youth. I will wait quietly for it all to end. But know in your heart I will always be your friend. Perhaps in the future when we're arm-in-arm, I will feel that sought-after calm. I feel safe just knowing that a following is growing, because of the truths that the Spirits are showing. I hear the Light embracing the Earth, expressing its happiness for the day of your birth. They liken you to villains and thieves, over which our unified sigh loudly heaves. They can say what they like but it will not hurt us, because they don't know what fuels our bus. My Love, as I write this I feel I'm elsewhere, sitting with you because I know you care. I'll wait for you to accept what I offer, in hope it means something to you. I will not doubt your choices in future, because I know why you do what you do. The Gods look down and thank you for trying to show, to us, how much they've been lying. They hurt our minds and feelings and dreams, making us anxious until there are screams. But you keep us calm and focused and centered. We will tell the children of how we adventured. We’ll not speak of hate and past resent. We’ll make a new world that we will present to all of the people who have sat in the dark. For now I will be your singing Night Lark. Go on and know I'm here for you, doing what I can to preserve what is true. Goodnight, my Love - my brave and strong hero. After all, you're far brighter than that fat man named Nero. #love #peace #loyalty #forgive #UnitedEarth #future #change |
Details
Author
|